Without Warning

Without warning
as a whirlwind
swoops on an oak
Love shakes my heart

Dengarkanlah Oh Jeritan Batinku

Hahaha mengong tak tajuk blog mak? Tinggal 6 bulan lagi untuk mak graduate, dan lepas tuh mak akan keje semula. Mak nervosa sebab tanak menganggur terlalu lama. Tempat nak intern pun mak tak apply lagi uols!!! Bagaimanakah? Mak dinch ado keje lain selama ini selain bermain ngan Cafe World di Fesbuk. Matilah addict. Sebab tu mak malas nak hapdet blog hahahahaha.

Mak salahkan cafeworld sebab addict fesbuk!! Nampak sangat denial dan jadikan cafe world escapism for all the unwanted habits...

Takde apa2 yang istimewa setakat nie dalam hidup mak. Mak berusaha dan still lagi berusaha menurunkan berat badan. Target mak bulan February ini adalah untuk hilang 3 - 5kg. Korang rasa realistik tak?

Cuti raya cina bulan Februari nie pulak mak akan bawak adik kesayangan mak pi melawat Pulau Ketam dan jugak Melaka. Lepas tuh dari 5hb sehingga 27hb March mak akan berada di France untuk study. Mak tak sabar nak jalan2 hehehehehe.

Bulan April pulak mak nak pi Langkawi. Last time mak jejak kaki ke Pulau Langkawi was 1996. Masa tu Langkawi masih di peringkat pembangunan katanya. Sekarang dosi vass ada kabel car okeh.

Problem mak hanya akan muncul pada penghujung May dan awal June. Kontrak sewa mak dosi habis. Dan mak tak leh nak renew sebab tuan rumah desperately nak jual unit tu. Mak pun tanak dok di Sunway lama2. Mak plan nak move to KL. Sebab mak nak keje di kawasan Golden Triangle di KL tu. Maklumlah hotel2 bertaraf antarabangsa semua terletak di kawasan tu. Korang boleh tak recommend tempat tinggal yang elok? Riana Green East KL dan Sri Maya tu elok tak? Mak bukan la nak feeling KAYA dok di condo but safetywise, I'd rather stay in a safe place, biar mahal asal aku tak berjiran ngan negro Nigeria dan terasa seperti aku berada di kawasan perkampungan/kejiranan orang asing. I am not condemning them tapi kalu korang pi Mentari Court/Apartment Damai tu semua nya macam kawasan jenayah. Dah la situ ramai orang kena rompak, berbunuh dan bunuh diri. It is not a safe environment to stay. I really thank God sebab selama nie aku dilindungi dari malapetaka dan kejadian yang tidak di ingini!!!

So far money wise mak takde lagi mengalami masalah kepokaian yang melampau macam tahun lepas. Alhamdulillah aku boleh jimat2 sket dan jugak memborosi dengan berbelanja pada diri sendiri. Bukan belanja orang k. Tahun lepas duit aku habis belanja orang!!! Bodoh betul!!! Tahun nie aku nak belanja orang yang aku sayang je termasuk kawan2 baik mak!!!

Aku masih lagi rasa seperti HoneyMoon!! Tahun ini I gotta feeling its gonna be a Good Year for me, and I'm feeling GOOD!!!

KO BERANI?

What say you?!!!

How to improve your self esteem, even if you're caught in a web of negative thinking.

By Steve B. Reed, L.P.C., L.M.F.T. One of my clients recently came to the conclusion that her mind was like an Internet of web sites. She said, "But some of my web sites have self-esteem devouring spiders." Her humorous moment was born out of the frustration of dealing with a part of herself which seems committed to undermining her from the inside out. She feels bad about herself and struggles with two questions: 1) How did I get this way and 2) What can I do to feel better about myself?

How is Self-Esteem Wounded? Negative Brainwashing Being raised in a toxic family is no vacation. It's more like a Bed & Brainwash than a Bed & Breakfast. Like with all effective brainwashing, if given enough time the subject can be broken. In a toxic family system, parents attack their children for having needs, being vulnerable and imperfect. Through a constant stream of negativity the child's self-concept is eroded and they are shamed into submission. A part of themselves learns to replay the litany of self-sabotaging and esteem-gutting messages like a mantra. When the brainwashing is complete, the person is reduced to a shell of their potential. Self-to-Other comparisons Comparing ourselves to others causes us to feel either one-up or one-down. Neither position is emotionally healthy. Such comparisons are often what we learn growing up among our peer groups. The only fair comparison however, is self-to-self. That information is useful in the quest for personal or professional growth. Feeling less than another only serves to limit us. Self-Blame in Moments of Pain When bad things happen to us, we search for some explanation or meaning to the trauma. Hurtful events may inadvertently trigger a self-destructive pattern of illogic. In those painful moments of overwhelming emotional experiences, we psychologically regress into a more child-like frame of mind.From that perspective we may believe: · I'm the center of my universe · If I'm in pain, somehow I'm to blame · If I'm the cause, I must be really bad, etc. Rising Above Your Raising People learn to feel bad about themselves and they can learn to feel good as well. The beliefs about oneself that lead to low-self esteem can be changed. There is no innate problem with the hardware of your brain. It is the software that needs up-dating. A little psychological reprogramming of those belief systems can lead to Self-Esteem Version 6.0: A New You. You can rework the web sites of your mind and debug any esteem devouring spiders. In short, you can rise above your raising.When you plan to undertake this process, I suggest that you seek the guidance and consultation of an experienced psychotherapist who is skilled in helping people to accomplish the following tasks: Identify traumatic or painful points in your life that caused you to imprint a negative belief about yourself. · Desensitize the painful part of the experience that holds the negative belief in place. · Replace that negative thought with a more desirable one. Imprint and integrate it well. Ten Positive Messages That You May Want To Replace Esteem Busters: I have the right to be here. I am already enough. I am worthwhile. I am valuable. I am significant. I am glad to be myself. It is OK to think well of myself. It is OK to take excellent care of myself. I am capable of learning. I can own my strengths. Selamat membaca, just some tips to share with those who feel that they cannot reach for the stars...

2010: I promise I'd...

Ahh its new year... and its 2010... In 10 months time I'll be 30. People say life begins at 30, betul kew uols?

Mak tak pernah buat resolusi tahun baru... Sebab bagi mak, its rubbish hahahaha... And if I made one, I am sure takkan tercapai nyer resolution mak tue sebab mak ni takde disiplin langsung!!!

But this year, 2010.. I have set an objective for myself.

I promise that I'll work hard, play hard and PRAY hard. I want to get myself more organized in everything that I do and it should be balanced. Therefore if I work hard, I must play hard and I must pray hard too. Because God is above everything.

Selain tu... mak pun feeling tahun nie mak nak bersantek2 lah... Selama nie mak suka pakai casual je, dan kadang tu mak selekeh jugak. So tahun nie... Mak nak upgrade myself sikit. Mak nak pakai dari casual to SMART CASUAL.

Mak feeling pakai macam nie * pastuh dok dlm walk in freezer to get the winter effect*

Pi ke Kuliah plak mak nak pakai mcm nie...

Kalu pi jalang2 mak feeling pakai camnie plak *matilah berangan kuat*

Mak jugak berazam untuk lose weight sebanyak 20kg. So in order to do that, mak dosi tukar diet mak. Mak akan minimize my sugar and fried food consumption, eat more veggies and drink plenty of water and milk. Lots of milk. Today I have thrown all food yang fattening dari food cabinet mak. Yang tinggal hanyalah MILO sahaja. Mak pi shop2 kat Jusco arini, and I replaced rice to brown rice, I bought low cholesterol eggs, I used brown sugar for my drinks, I bought yoghurt and replace white bread to wholemeal.This time I won't be buying Maggi instant noodles anymore. NO MATTER HOW HARD I CRAVE for it I won't be buying it for at least the next 2 months. Lagipun MSG tak elok utk mata dan rambut. Besides that, I have started to go for 1 hour morning walk everyday. Kalau pagi hujan I will do it in the evening and try to swim for 30 minutes at least whenever the swimming pool is not occupied with niggers or pakistanis.

Terus mak pose2 the BIGGEST LOSER katanya

Hopefully mak dapat capai objektif mak tahun ini... This is only for the 1st quarter of the year. Kalau dlm masa 3 bulan tak tercapai atau tak bergerak langsung, nampak sangat aku nie mmg pundek hahahahaha.... Anyway to my beloved pelangut, HAPPY NEW YEAR. Itupon kalau ada org baca blog aku ler...